


John Egbert Assembles His Harem

by ImaginationCake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Petstuck, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginationCake/pseuds/ImaginationCake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets addicted to adopting, and his adoptions get addicted to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Egbert Assembles His Harem

The first troll John gets is a mistreated, misbehaved mutant slated for euthanization. It's like finding a Picasso with water damage—usually the candy red blood would be a selling point (the color is extraordinarily rare and valued among breeders, even John knows that with no prior experience), but the little troll at the shelter is malnourished, abused, and violent. John falls in love at first sight.

He buys an expansive property out in the mountains and moves there so his troll can have some peace away from children and pets and nosy unhelpful neighbors. It’s a long, slow process and John has some nasty scars that most likely will never fully fade, but Karkat's temperament moves gradually from vicious to churlish to begrudgingly affectionate.

 

The second troll comes long after Karkat has settled down. John and Karkat are watching TV when a commercial comes on for a ranch specializing in highbloods, filled with slow panning shots over sensually posed purples. Karkat's pupils are blown when John looks over, and John asks him if he wants a playmate. Karkat nearly falls over from nodding too hard.

John drives across three states with Karkat in the passenger seat to get to the ranch. When they get there they find the selection to be as extravagant as it had appeared on TV, and Karkat will not stop fidgeting, even when John scratches around his horns. Eventually they settle on a young troll about Karkat's age, with long lanky limbs and a dopey smile. Karkat latches onto Gamzee and refuses to let go even before the paperwork is completed. They all get in the car and the rustling chirps and trills from the backseat make John blush and bite his lip for nearly the entire trip back.

When they all get home, Karkat and Gamzee press their warm solid bodies to John and offer to do to him what they did to each other in the car. That night John goes to bed with two naked trolls twined around him, purring contentedly in their sleep.

 

The third troll is essentially an accident. John's very happy with Karkat and Gamzee and normally never would have risked upsetting the harmonious balance that the three of them share, but there are exceptions to everything.

John is in the city on business (Karkat and Gamzee stay at home; if they have each other it's no big deal to leave them alone for a few days) and he's walking home from dinner one night. As he's walking past an alleyway he hears a whimpering chirr, which reminds him strongly of the sounds Gamzee made the one time he burnt his finger on the stove. John sidetracks down the alley to find a shivering, troll-shaped lump curled up by the dustbins. When John calls out, the lump stiffens and ceases its noisemaking, until John can get close enough to make out details in the half-light. It’s hard to discern the blood color in the dark but John can tell the troll is large, heavily muscled, and obviously injured.

John calls the police, who arrive in due time and take the troll to a nearby vet clinic, bringing John along at his behest. The clinic says that the troll, a blueblood, is probably a trained fighter for an illegal troll-baiting ring and that he needs surgery and a new home. John gets permission from Karkat to bring Equius home for a trial run.

At first it's a little awkward. Equius has been trained perfectly to obey human commands, and he seems to love Gamzee (following him around like a dog begging for treats; it’s adorable), but for a few days it looks like he and Karkat won't get along at all. John's just about ready to throw in the towel and bring Equius back to the clinic.

This line of thinking comes to a halt when John accidentally walks in on Karkat mounting Equius, rutting him with fierce animalistic dominance. Though Karkat is half his size, Equius lies under him with his dripping nook spread open wantonly and his face slack with submissive pleasure.

The both start when they hear John enter, Equius blushing and hiding his face with his hair shamefully and Karkat watching for John's reaction with a tinge of anxiety.

John asks if this means Equius can stay. When Karkat nods, John can't stop himself from smiling. And when Equius requests, John can't stop himself from joining.

 

The fourth troll, John will admit, is a guilty pleasure. He has enough trolls. He has more than he could possibly need. And he loves his boys, he really does—they're a delight in and out of the bedroom; a comforting, ever-present family that doesn’t have obligations other than loving him back.

But John is, after all, only human.

Skaianet Incorporated holds an annual conference, and as one of the corporation’s biggest shareholders John is obliged to make an appearance. It’s a fancy event, full of tuxes and gowns and champagne and schmoozing, and generally John doesn’t mind being there but wouldn’t choose to do it more than once every year. There’s always an exposition of products developed by Skaianet and its subsidiaries, which John finds intriguing enough, and he makes sure to check out this year’s lineup.

A genetic engineering firm has a display of several live animals this year, which is a popular attraction judging by the group of onlookers examining the products. John’s heard that the firm has even managed to perfect domesticated sea-trolls, and John is more than a little interested in seeing what the final result is; after all, he’s a three-times-over troll owner himself, and though he’s not currently in the market for another one, it couldn’t hurt to check.

When John manages to wrestle his way (in the most polite manner possible) through the throng around the animal display, he finally catches sight of the sea-troll, sitting prettily in a golden cage with violet gossamer fabrics draped becomingly over his form. John quietly covets the slender, compact form and the delicately fluttering fins, reluctantly tearing his gaze away after a few moments. But when he turns to leave, the crowd’s movement pushes him back up against the cage’s bars.

Up close the sea-troll is even prettier, John muses, and his attentions don’t go unnoticed. The troll sees John watching him, and his expression goes from bored to seductive almost instantaneously. He leans up to press his mouth close to John’s ear, asking in a breathy whisper if John’s ever fucked a seadweller before and that the troll knows a good master when he sees one. John can feel his face flushing and his pants getting tighter and he knows he has to have this one too.

Much later, when most of the guests have tottered back to their hotels, John negotiates with the head of the genetic modification firm to purchase the sea-troll. He’s sure to include a trial period in the agreement; he’s not going to risk upsetting his boys at home by getting a non-returnable pet, even if the whole purchase is completely selfish in the first place. Negotiations are difficult, but John’s got his own charismatic tricks and brings the price down to nearly half the originally stated value. Eridan still costs more than Karkat’s adoption fees, Gamzee’s purebred papers, and Equius’s surgeries all combined.

John calls home later, asking his boys if they object strongly to another addition to the family, with mixed results. Equius is eager to consent; he never goes against John’s wishes. Gamzee has no objections; he tries to befriend anything within a mile radius, and a sea-troll would be no different. Karkat is angry. He doesn’t understand why John needs another troll, one that doesn’t really need him back like Equius does, and John can’t explain because he doesn’t know. He can’t tell Karkat that it was just a selfish whim that made him purchase Eridan; all he can do is whisper beseechingly into the receiver that Karkat will always be John’s favorite and that one more troll won’t change that. After nearly an hour of pleading, John finally convinces Karkat to just meet Eridan and at least _try_ to get along with him.

                And try he does. John brings Eridan home after the conference and introduces him to Karkat, taking them both into a room separated from the other two trolls. Eridan’s being showy and preening himself, tilting his head so his neck arcs gracefully and shooting little coquettish glances at Karkat, who looks like he’s teetering on the edge of a terrible tantrum. John holds his breath, surreptitiously crossing his fingers.

Instead of bursting into a furious tirade, however, Karkat merely rolls his eyes and slouches over to Eridan, pulling him down closer to his level and butting his stubby little horns softly against Eridan’s chin. Eridan’s eyes go wide and he stills but for the fluttering of his fins, letting Karkat rub up against him with a bewildered set to his mouth. After a moment, Eridan begins to reciprocate, wrapping his arms around Karkat’s shoulders and leaning down to nuzzle his ear shyly. Purring starts up, but John can’t tell which troll is making the sound, or if it’s both of them. Eridan kisses the tip of Karkat’s nose and Karkat kisses his chin and it’s really too adorable, and John’s so happy that they’re getting along that he almost misses it when Eridan leans down just a bit more and licks at Karkat’s lips.

Karkat’s mouth falls open in invitation and Eridan’s eyes dart to John, assessing his new master’s permissiveness. When John doesn’t do anything to stop them (why would he; there’s nothing he wants more than to see them happy together), Eridan hesitantly continues. John watches his trolls kiss; watches how Eridan sucks on Karkat’s pliant tongue, how Karkat closes his eyes with a tiny sigh and grazes his teeth lightly over Eridan’s lips.

Shifting restlessly from one foot to the other (it’s hard to stay still with his pulse lurching and quickening in anticipation), John calls the pair over and they break apart without preamble; trotting up to John with matching swollen lips, deep blushes, and inhumanly wide pupils.

It’s almost too much.


End file.
